To define a person with a smattering of words is near impossible and even more so when describing our boy, Gryff Cian Morgan. However, it is necessary so that he is aways remembered but more importantly so that the tragedy of his death is not repeated.
Even as a toddler Gryff stood out in his originality and his capacity for love- the opposite of this was also true and his anger could be confusing, for him especially. When we talked to professionals and questioned these extremes, the consistent response was that parenting could overcome these challenges. With this in mind, hundreds of books were read, and experts consulted (because he was loved so much), all avenues were pursued to no avail.
For Gryff’s first term at primary school he clung to Kim and begged not to be left. Jason would watch him using binoculars from their home to see him running around happy as ever. His deep booming voice caused amusement coming from such a fair, petit frame. He settled into primary, aided by the proximity to his home and the safety that gave him. Gryff experienced challenges with, fine motor skills, using scissors and was very messy with food. Kim noticed this more after having her other two children and seeing the comparison.
At 8 years old Gryff was no longer invited to friend’s parties, and it was becoming increasingly apparent that there were some misunderstandings in his comprehension of situations. Gryff understood things in a way his peers and some adults, did not. As he became more mature, he learnt how to mask these behaviours and had many friends who loved him deeply.
Gryff enjoyed sport, being fit and participating in team activities. His lack of fear made him a danger on the rugby field as he would tackle anyone especially those double in his size. Gryff’s lack of awareness of other’s feelings and needs meant that team activities were unsustainable, and he would end up leaving instead of knowing how to work the situation through. He found that swimming and running were better for him as they could be done alone and still meant he kept to a certain level of fitness.
At school Gryff managed to participate and achieve which we are all so impressed by, especially now we understand more the massive strain that must have been for him. Keeping himself focussed and in control all day at school took its toll on Gryff and often meant fireworks when he got home. The family home was Gryff’s sanctuary, but he often made it a stressful environment for the other inhabitants of the home with his mood changes and anger.
Gryff was ambitious and had dreams of riches, his generosity showed how he planned to spend his wealth. His first job was as a butcher in his hometown. He then took another job as a waiter, and he was known to be charming and polite to all her served. Before he died Gryff was a valued a lifeguard a job that kept him grounded and respected.
While there was a clear routine with outlets for his energy and a predictable pace, Gryff could manage. When he finished secondary school and was due to start the sixth form things began to get more difficult for him. A few personal disappointments meant that his plan which had reassured him, could no longer work. This was the time of our first national lockdown and the combination of uncertainty in his future, being forced to leave his coping mechanisms (work, gym, swimming) and him turning to self-medication with cannabis, led to a mental break down.
All the way through this period outside agencies were involved but failed to follow through on what they had promised or gave unhelpful and detrimental advice- leaving the whole family lost and in trauma. Gryff was the most affected by the inadequacies of these social enterprise’s, and life was paid forfeit for their incompetence.
Gryff took his life on November the 10th 2021 and we will never be healed from the pain this has caused all those that were touched by his pure heart. All we can do to try and understand this waste, this tragedy, this huge loss is to try and stop it happening again. Our aim is to be of support to families and young people who are feeling lost and in need of support.
